of wisdom & wander.

a new season, a new wild and precious life

Thank you so much for subscribing and being part of this creative journey of thoughts 🧡 To view all my posts, click this link or download the Substack app. Also, if you want more creative talks and poetry, tune into my podcast Sheer Creativity. My website was recently updated by subscriber and friend Lina Simpsonn (thank you for the website and for subscribing!).

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Do you ever remember a moment in the past that means much more to you in the future?

I recently thought about my senior quote in my high school yearbook. It was a quote from a poem that I can’t quote in its entirety now, but only two lines of the poem truly mattered to me. You may recognize these words from the poet Mary Oliver, “Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

A round of applause for the pre-adulthood clear skin, the hair, and the BROWS!!

I was scrambling to sum up my high school years into one quote that wasn’t, “I hope this place burns down to the ground.” With the deadline fast approaching, I landed on Oliver’s delicate poem. Inwardly, I was hoping to treat myself with some of the same softness that beckoned Oliver to the outdoors: the gentleness of enjoying oneself, the awe of the world surrounding her, and the freedom to explore and ask questions.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver

I was hopeful that my life would only improve once those high school years were completely behind me. Oliver’s last lines in her poem “The Summer Day” would be the foundation of my adulthood, for the search for the one wild and precious life I was destined to live.

A creativity counselor I spoke to on my podcast told me she doesn’t like when creatives say they’re “finding themselves.” Instead, she prefers “creating yourself.” When you’re in the creation of yourself, you feel more inclined to take risks and lean into how those risks make you feel.

Through experimenting with my wild and precious life, I’ve realized how much trial and error is integral to my personality. I love my ability to try new things, to be adaptable, and to shift to some new project. But sometimes, I wonder if I’m living the wild side of my life a little more fervently than my precious side. I flit between creations but never make a home out of them.

Have you ever met someone who is undoubtedly made for their pursuits? Sure, you could look at their follower count on Instagram or the number of views on their YouTube video and assume they’re walking in purpose, but many people gain an outrageous amount of views in spaces where they feel they must perform for notoriety or monetary fulfillment. I know creatives without a large audience who are made for their pursuits. Creatives who continue to create with “low visibility” cannot alter their positions based on the validation, clicks, or views. Their creations are an outpouring of their hearts that can’t be ignored, and thankfully, people with those convictions never remain unseen.

I can’t help but think that I’m created for something bigger than my imagination can conceive. There’s a life that is equally wild in its exploration and precious in its value that demands my focus. Something I was created to do. Lately, I wonder if I’m living another person’s wild and precious life. My methods of trial and error in my creativity (and life in general) have resulted in spending a lot of time trying to fit a mold that never fits quite right. I wondered why some projects never gained traction or why I struggled to find a flow that felt seamless.

This space has been a beautiful anomaly that I didn’t expect. This newsletter has felt completely natural to me, and it helps fuel my belief in saying that I am a writer. By you subscribing, I now believe it, and now my words carry a little more weight.

It’s been a year and four months since I started this newsletter. Back in January 2023, I couldn’t tell you what this space was about. In April 2024, I still can’t answer that question. I’d guess that confusion stems from the idea that I’m still on this quest for my wild and precious life. I can say definitively that I’m on the right track. The high school version of me would be proud of the life I’ve discovered thus far.

In an authentic and intentional pursuit of my wild and precious life, I’m welcoming a new era of this newsletter. Sheer Creativity will now be named of wisdom & wander, a space for introspection, creativity, and humanity to intersect. It’s a space for this woman to believe, to ponder, to create, and to play.

Sheer Creativity is the name of my podcast, but this space is far different. This newsletter is a journey through what it means to be creative, and also Black, also woman, also a (over)thinker, and most importantly, human.

I’m leaning more intentional in creating projects that feel innate and intuitive. Therefore, my podcast will be on hiatus starting mid-May.

If you subscribed looking solely for podcast content, I understand if this rebrand wasn’t what you desired in your inbox on a weekly(ish) basis. No hard feelings if you unsubscribe. The podcast will still be available for consumption, and you can check the Sheer Creativity website for updates.

Whatever you decide, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to this space, and I hope this post inspires you to think about what fits you. What molds have you been trying to fit into, knowing that it doesn’t come intuitively? Not to say that you’ll never be challenged, but does it feel fun, engaging, or intriguing to you? You’re free to stop anything that no longer stimulates the creative drive within you, and you’re free to start anything that makes you excited, no matter how “off-brand” it seems.

Now I ask you. Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

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P.S. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? I’d love to know what it was, and whether it possessed any meaning!

Laraya 🧡